On the front of my house are two Pyracanthas which I planted about twelve years ago to cover a couple of very empty walls – the planners in their wisdom did not want us to have too many windows when we built the house (i). I thought about the more conventional options (Wisteria, Roses etc) but realised that was not going to work due to lack of sunshine and there is nothing worse that a struggling rose with long naked stems and feeble flowers.

So Pyracantha seemed like a sensible option in that it is easy to manipulate, flowers enthusiastically in May/June, has evergreen leaves and produces hundreds of stunning orange berries in Autumn. I have sculpted them into long espaliers attached to wires fixed into the brickwork. Works very well and is trouble free except for occasional outbreaks of Wooly Aphid (ii) which we blast away with a hose pipe. This is organic pest control at its most satisfying.

Anyway, I use this to make an interesting point about the vagaries of nature. Usually, around January, the blackbirds descend upon the Pyracantha berries and make short work of devouring the lot. This past winter something odd happened and they only stripped the left hand plant (Exhibit A) and left many of the berries intact on the right hand plant.(Exhibit B)

Bear with me, it will get a bit (iii) more interesting.

I don’t know why, especially given the harshness of the winter, but the point is that, this year the flowers on the unstripped plant have been pretty feeble in comparison. The top picture is the berryless plant (Exhibit A) and this one is of Exhibit B.

So why?

You must first understand that plants do not flower for our benefit: they flower in order to attract pollinators and therefore to set fertile seed and ensure the continuation of the species. All plant behaviour is about Sex: they have no consideration for your efforts and cossetting. They care not a whit for you, the gardener.

Sorry, but it is true.

So, bearing that in mind, the best explanation I can come up with is that the plant, realising that it still retained some berries (and therefore seeds) thought to itself, “Well, I’ve got seed therefore why should I bother to flower as much this year? Instead I will have a bit of a lie in and after a late breakfast and a long bath I might produce a few flowers.”

They’re like that, plants. Terribly selfish sometimes.

(i) I don’t know why either: the decisions of planning committees are often unfathomable. The same can sometimes be said of the people who invent ice cream flavours – how else did they come up with something as nasty as Rum ‘n Raisin or Mint Vienetta ?

(ii) A subject to which I will return soon….

(ii) The vital word in this sentence is ‘bit’. Do not expect ‘much’ or even ‘slightly’